Why the pursuit of a perfectly figured-out life creates silent anxiety
There was a time when I believed that life would someday settle. That a point would arrive—marked by a stable bank balance, emotional clarity, fulfilling relationships, and a precise sense of direction—when I’d finally feel sorted. The anxiety would stop knocking, the questions would quiet down, and the self-doubt would retreat like a tired guest.
But life, as it turns out, isn’t a math equation waiting to be solved. It’s more like a river—fluid, ever-curving, sometimes calm, often messy. And chasing the idea of a “sorted” life is like trying to trap water in your hands: the tighter you hold, the faster it escapes.
Where did this myth originate? Perhaps from our schooling systems that rewarded neat answers. Or the social media narratives that showcase curated lives. Or maybe it’s just the human longing for certainty, for a known ground beneath our feet. But what this myth conceals is the quiet suffering it causes: people who feel ashamed for not having it all together, for not knowing their purpose, or for changing their minds halfway through a chosen path.
Ironically, this myth doesn’t just breed self-judgment—it also isolates. We look around and assume others are managing better. We pretend to be okay because vulnerability might disturb the illusion. We postpone joy until the pieces align. And in doing so, we miss the raw, unfolding beauty of being a work-in-progress.
The truth is, no one is fully sorted—not the poised colleague, not the friend who just posted a perfect vacation photo, not even the teacher who seems spiritually enlightened. Everyone carries questions. Everyone is navigating some unknown terrain, inwardly or outwardly.
What if being “unsorted” is not a flaw, but a state of aliveness?
What if the courage to remain curious—to not have all the answers, to walk while still unsure—is the real measure of emotional strength?
You don’t need to feel guilty for not being there yet. You’re not behind. There is no fixed map, no universal milestone checklist. Life isn’t a destination. It’s a rhythm to be felt, a terrain to be explored. And every time you pause to reflect, every time you choose honesty over performance, you step into your truth.
So instead of striving to be sorted, try being centered.
Instead of chasing clarity, try embracing presence.
Instead of performing perfection, try practicing permission—to be confused, to be changing, to be wholly human.
Because the moment you let go of the myth, you begin to feel something deeper than being sorted.
You begin to feel free.
Letters for the Inner Journey by Pushkar
Whisper back, if the letter spoke to you.